your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
