She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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