We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
