Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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