my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
