TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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