Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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