I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Text me some of your sweat
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