Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
