He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
