I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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