there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
