R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
