She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
