I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
