I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
