Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize