you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
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This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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