Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Quick, to the slutcave!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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