Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
