you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Randomize
