god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
