I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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