So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You don't make any sense
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