fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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