He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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