seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
