her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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