my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
