I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
