what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We smell like vodka and hangover
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