do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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