i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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