end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
