doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
