All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
