Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
