remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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