Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
