i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
When are your genitals available?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
