can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize