I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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