If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The convent might be a nice break from real life
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
