My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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