I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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