he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
