I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
