Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
