I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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