What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
