can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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