508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize