The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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