Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
