the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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