Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
