He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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