For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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