Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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