did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and she was petting her beer can
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
