Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
