Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
