Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
