Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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