He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
