Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
