I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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