One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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